He thinks too much

The world has all kinds of interesting people. Some smart, some slow, some needy, others content. James is a problem solver, not in the mobster sense. He’s the kind of guy you call when your car falls in a ditch while the date of your life is waiting, or you’ve got plans to make a night worth remembering but don’t have a cent to your name.

Tonight, he sits trying to solve a problem that would frustrate anyone, a random Window’s error. Even thought it is a Friday night, don’t mistake him for a nerd, geek, or anything around that general train of mind. At least that’s how he’d reply to anyone questioning his “cool credits.”

Really though “cool credits?” Like most of his friends, he’s a nerd, but unlike most of his friends he couldn’t hide it if his life depended on it.

“Why, why even have a details tab if all you’re going to give me is a number? Am I expected to know every error and it corresponding code?” He asks while staring at his computer, in an almost pleading way. “Come on Canti, what is it? Could it be the sound driver again?”

Canti is his computer, named after an animated character in “flcl” (fooly cooly), a very abstract show. If you’ve got a name for your computer, or think that’s a cool and/or fitting name, you’re a nerd. Canti’s a robot and a key to something big in the cartoon, it’s kind of a confusing show. Anyways, if it isn’t the sound driver is something else. The computer is a Frankenstein, patched up so many times James can take it apart and put it back together blindfolded.

“Ok let’s try this one more time… come on baby hold together…” He slowly moves his mouse to the button that’ll bring the game to life.

That’s a Star Wars reference, if you missed it. There’ll be all kinds of references. Keeping track is nice, but not necessary. Thank god, or no one would ever understand anything he ever says. The computer gets the “loading” screen, and then goes back to the desktop.

James whispers “Why do you hate me…”

James feels a soft movement in his left pocket, fallowed by the Godfather theme. He reaches out and checks the number.

“Hey Phil, what can I do for you?” Phil’s a bad nerd. He can’t name any more then three Star Wars ships, or list four animated films not connected to Disney or Warner Brothers and he can hardly handle his computer. He’s more normal, a social wiz, more so then James is anyways. Lucky for him his looks make up for most of his, shall we say, mental faults.

“She needs a dog.” Phil sounding like he’s giving the ransom demands for his captors.

He doesn’t see much need for details. He figures if it makes sense and is understandable to him, everyone should get it. They’ve been friends long enough to have a good understanding between each other, most of the time.

“By ‘she’, I assume you mean Kate what kin…” James is cut off by Phil.

“I told her I had one and she’d have it in the morning. Let me in, and help me.” There’s more desperation and plea, then demanding or insisting in his voice. Why Phil doesn’t knock, no one will ever know, but he doesn’t.

James stands up and walks the door he shakes off his frustration, and opens it. Phil is a deer in front of a car.

You see Phil’s never had much trouble getting girls, but he hates for people to dislike him. He is truly bothered by the idea of another human holding negative feeling towards him. Is he in love with Kate, possible, is he scared of losing her love over the dog? More likely he’s worried about her being upset with him.

Mimicking Kate, Phil says, “Good guess right? I can’t wait to see him?”

“What did she guess? That the present was a dog, or the dog type?” James is trying to make sense of the situation. Step one of his patented “13 Step to Problem Solving” program.

“Yes”

“Yes, to which… both?”

“Yes”

“So she was guessing what her present could be, and concluded on a dog, and its type, which you agreed to?”

More claming then questioning, James thought of talking to Phil like playing a puzzle and he was the God of puzzles.

“Yes”

“You agree way to often, you should really get that under control. This isn’t the first time it’s gotten you in trouble. Seriously like every time you order we end up with super sized everything, pies, and all kinds of stuff they casually offer. God help you if you answer to any telemarketer. Come in, how long do we have?” James glances behind him at the computer clock “12:52 am.”

They move to the small table, a college student’s table, small, dirty, and cheap. Phil is still unhappy, and sets his cell phone on the only clear, and somewhat clean, part of the table.

“What kind of dog are we looking for?” James is still conforming parameters, trying to find the rules of this game.

“Chihuahua”

“What’s our price range?”

“$20 to $93.50”

“She didn’t happen to guess a color, did she?”

“No”

“Thank god, her new psychic powers made this one a tough one as it is.”

James looks in to the trash on the table for answers.
This is brainstorming mode, step two or three maybe. An unwritten patient can change at any time. Phil’s stare is that of a man, who’s lost all hope.

“I’m going to need to make a few calls, you can use the computer to try and calm down. Just don’t download any crappy music.” James takes his phone and attaches the microphone to it.

“This one is definitely not a two man puzzle, well need reinforcements.”

Phil sits on the computer, and starts cycling throw music. If James’s helping was a company, his computer was the waiting room. In this waiting room people didn’t read magazines, they added to the already huge song list.
---
James final got through, “I’m glad you weren’t asleep”

Jeremy’s normally so cheery, it’s annoying, voice is raspy and long. “I was dreaming there was…”

“Guess you were.”

“…a small army of knights protecting a courtyard, against a larger army of zombies…”

“Were they, ‘I’m coming for you Barbra,’ zombies or 28 Days Later zombies?”

“I noticed a zombie sprinting towards me so I…”

“28 Days Later”

“…pulled out my sword and cut his head clean off.” Jeremy’s more exited know, but still obviously groggy. “Then his head started to ring.”

“That’s all interesting, but I called to reclaim a favor. Sheath your sword and get some coffee, it’s time to use the phone book of a head, you’ve got.”

Jeremy was the know it all. The network of friends was linked by his memory. Since he was a really nice guy, most people trusted him, and talked to him. They’d talk about their problems, what makes them happiest, what ever. You name it, he has heard about it. He was kind of like a bartender or priest, strange combination but both hand out alcohol with strange names. He didn’t say much, but what he did say kept you talking.

Jeremy wasn’t really friends with James, but a regular customer. The only time the hung out, was when James was ‘on duty’. See playing confidant to some of the more beautiful women, was a risky game. No dates though, Jeremy is a perpetual friend, poor guy.
---
A few cup of coffee and some dead ends later Jeremy, “Yup, Alison’s your best bet, she sounded a little tipsy over the phone, so I’d hurry.”

“Alright thanks, that’s one less ‘I owe you’. Wish us luck…” he glances at the Phil drenched with cold sweat, “… for Phil’s sake. Bye.”

“Got one?” Phil didn’t take the ‘calm down’ advice, instead just sat on the computer chair staring at James.

“Almost, but she’s a bomb waiting to explode. Every minute counts so I’ll explain on the road. You drive. We’re off to the Pete’s party!”

James grabs a glance at himself in the mirror. Blue jeans, semi combed hair, and a simple gray shirt and blue caller, “The messy haired look, I’m good to go like this, Phil you ready?”

Not waiting for an answer he picks his keys from the floor and heads for the door. Phil walks passed the mirror and fallows.

They took Phil’s car, since it had the best chance of getting them home again. James wasn’t a big drinker, especially not while ‘on duty’. He would probably end up driving home, but Phil was in the driver’s seat now.

“Here’s the problem, Alison is no stranger to the bottle. She’s got the dog, and is practically throwing it at us. The good thing is we can expect a low price. What’s so bad is she’s already had an hour head start on us, no doubt she’s dancing her heart out by now. Soon she’ll start stumbling around. We have to get to her before she passes out. If she knocks out we won’t get the dog, in time. The dog is in her apartment. Jeremy said she sounded a little tipsy, but accepted the terms.

---
The fifteen minute drive, ended at a two story house, packed with cars parked all over and the walls practically thumbing with a danceable rhythm. Parking was based on creativity, and affection towards your car. James recommended parking a good distance away, since they weren’t going to stay long. Phil said “ok”.

After a short walk they entered the home, a moving mass of drunken bodies. Most of the people inside weren’t as far off as it may sound, the few that were made up for the rest in stupidity. Everyone knows everyone else, for the most part. Only the new people were drunk to an immobile state. It’s just not right, entering another person’s home and drinking till you vomit or make an idiot of yourself. Those who were there for some fun, danced around and greeted one another.

The home wasn’t small, but it was a large party held only downstairs, sort of. After a, “Great party glad to be here, we’ll talk later” wave at Pete, the host, James and Phil began working their way through. Somewhere in the flooded home of compact skin and overly compassionate hellos, was Alison.

Everything was loud, so James, being the clever guy he is, starts giving military signals to Phil. Nothing to complex just directional stuff, but complex enough for the people around to understand who the cool guy of the two was. Or so he planned.

Through the cluster, James spotted Julie. Aw Julie… Julie, Julie, Julie There’s much to say about her, with respect to James. Well just go over the basics Julie, or Jewels, and James never dated, although he would’ve liked to. To often his mistake would be miss interoperated signals from the opposite sex, sometimes because of desperation, mostly because of stupidity. When he met Jewels he decided he wouldn’t let his intuition foul things up. This time his mistake was inaction.

Now, there she was. It’d been a while. Last time, they parted the way they started, as friends. Maybe he could change that… Phil had his eye on something else.
“STILL STANDING!!” Though Phil was shouting, it still sounded like a voice off somewhere, even in his own head. Phil was pointing to the same corner that James was looking, but was a world away from seeing what James was.

Alison was indeed standing on her own, still dancing all her stress, or whatever it is girls dance off. Phil noticed James point of interest. Phil know Jewels all to well, he know every detail of the situation, on James side. He turned to face James and shouted, “Go on, I’ll get it” Then he extended his car keys.

James turned and shouted back, “I owe you one, but try to buy me an hour and a half. Don’t ask about the dog, she thinks I want it, and it wont help if you agreeing to some absurd deal.”

Could James have tried to get the dog first and hope Jewels would still be there when he got back, maybe, but not even a “problem solver” thinks clearly all the time.

James says, “I’ll call you when I’m heading back. No longer then half an hour I swear.”

“Go” Phil shouts as he heads towards Alison.

James takes a deep breath and start walking to Jewels, he wishes he new a good prayer.

Cutting through the crowd was simple enough, a few handshakes, a quick hug and he was right in front of her. She watched him work the whole way.

What was she thinking? ‘God not him again’, ‘this should be short’, or maybe she’s just waiting for James to change the game. From the way she looks, there’s just no telling, or so James tells himself. In reality that’s all we can do, guess what the other is thinking. Normally our own state of mind dictates our assumption, more then what is actually happening. Basically the only time everyone is watching you, is when you’re paranoid.

They “hung out” a lot, but it always seemed like both of them were on the brink of proclaiming something. Of course it could have been in James’s head, but why else would she have been with him so often in somewhat uncomfortable situations.

He was nervous and for clear reasons, she was so pretty. She looked happy, and non-alcoholic.

“Hey…” The best pickup line James could ever manage.

“Hi…” Jewels said, holding a small smile.

James thinks, ‘Such a nice voice, she is so much better at this then me.’

If he was going to change anything, it would have to start now. He no longer wanted to be casually eating lunch, or seeing a movie. For things to be different, both he and Jewels would have to be clear that they were on a date. Now this was the difficult part, how to ask her. Normally when two people first meet, there’s a void. The two are uncomfortable till a mood is established. If you’re good, with just a few words a particular mood can be reached. James was never very good. He established a friendly mood and it had stuck ever since. Undoing and creating a new mood, was hard.

All he had to do was add the word “date” somewhere in the pick up. It would be uncomfortable, and risky, but doable.

And he says, “You hungry?”

“If you’re paying, I am” Jewels smile grows.

Way to go James, another ambiguous date. You should know, even though her answer and general demeanor sounds very feminine and even playful, they’re not. She is actually a lot like one of the guys, a beautiful, soft, and dorky guy. She could put you and all your friends down in a funny way. With others around, she and James were noticeably distracted, but still able to keep things comfortable. It’s when they were alone that things became a little confusing. They both felt it, but she never turned down any of his invites.

James considers reaching for her hand, but decides against it, and begins leading her out, with military signals. Oh, but unlike Phil, Jewels understands, and is able to respond. Isn’t she great.

Closing the front door behind them was like gaining a new power of awareness. No longer impaired by ridiculously loud music, there muffled ears became useful again.

“Um…” Jewels looks at the so called parking lot. “I don’t think I’ll be able to get out of that.”

“PHIL LENT… sorry, Phil lent me his car”

---
Back inside Phil, being the sharp guy he is, notices if Alison is dancing, she isn’t drinking. What a simple plan then, keep Alison dancing. Phil has the appearance of muscle; he’s one of those guys blessed with a free four pack. Always looking muscular doesn’t give much need to workout. Three songs in and it’s clear who’s got the greater stamina. His legs were getting weaker, breath shallow, and she hasn’t even taken her high heels off.
---

James and Jewels had a short discussion on where would be the best place to eat. There was really only one choice at 1:36 am. “Quick-bites”, in case you didn’t notice from the name, it was a fast food restaurant. Even though they didn’t have a choice, Quick-bites was the perfect place to stop. There was an intercom at every lot, you simply drove up, pushed a button, gave your order, and in 5 to 10 minutes your food would be walked to your car. Good for people eating alone, and couples looking to have some privacy.

James parked out of the workers view. There wasn’t a car other then theirs and it was a cool night. So, he switched off the engine and they rolled down the windows. Till now the talk hadn’t been anything interesting and really didn’t seem like that was going to change.

“So, what would you like me to get you?” James outstretched his hand so it would be ready to press the big red button.

“Where to start… a number three, but with cheese”

“That’s a number five”

“No, the number five has onions.”

“Hum… one through six are all the same hamburger but with different combinations of toppings.”

“Don’t you mean fixings, it’s not a pizza”

“Look there are thirty-four choices on this quick menu. I would think once you hit the double digits it’s no longer a quick menu.”

“Actually I don’t know if fixings, is the right word.”

“At twenty-five it starts listing desserts… here it is, you want me to order you a number…four right?”

“I can’t think of any other word but fixings, so let’s go with that, yes.”

“Ok”

Such great communication, weren’t they meant for one another. James reaches for the button, and begins to give their orders.

---

Phil’s so exhausted, finally the song is over. Maybe it’s time for a break, how much could she possible drink if he takes one song off.

“DRINK” Phil shouts, and the hand signal for drink.

“I’d love one; I think I need a bit of a break.” Alison moves to an unoccupied couch piece, and sits down.

Phil makes his way to the bar, and gets some water, for him and Alison.

“DRINK” Phil approaches Alison.

“Thanks”

Phil was so tired, he wasn’t sure he’d make the trip back to Alison. The Loafers, he’s had on since his date with Kate, were starting to leave scars. Phil extended the plastic cup to Alison, she takes the drink, but before he can retract his hand, a girl grabs it.

“Hey, I’m Beth would you like to dance”

Phil’s only got one answer for such a question “Yes.”

As Beth leads Phil back to the dance area, Alison takes a drink, gives a confused look, and walks to the bar area.
---

The food had come and gone. James commented on the speed and amount of food Jewels could take in, and Jewels laughed at the pathetic amount of cheese in James’s hamburger. Now they’re done, if this was a date, this would be the time to talk about date stuff. Since it wasn’t, it’s time to go.

James was annoyed by the apparent need to leave, “That was pretty good.”

“Yes, maybe we should stop here more often.”

“Ok…”

“Yea…”

“Maybe we can try that place on…” James reaches in his pocket, when his hand got the top again, the car was filled the godfather theme. Jewel leaned in to look at the little screen.

Jewels asks, “Who is it?”

“It’s a text message from some girl named Beth, know her?”

“I know a Beth, she was at the party, but she doesn’t know I’m with you. Click it so we can read it.”

James pressed a few buttons and the message appeared on the screen.

Jewels reads aloud, “…. That hurts, see –tear- making me cry now –tear-”

James says, “This reminds me of one time when I ordered some cherries in my coke, and was charged per cherry. Must be a different Beth, and a wrong number.”

“Hey I got a good idea. Let’s go play in the park over there!”

James was thrilled at the idea of spending a bit more time with her, practically screams, “OK.”
---

Phil hands Beth’s phone back while the last of the song fades away.

Phil shouts, “DRINK.”

“That’s ok, but I think I need a break”

Beth heads towards the couch. Phil’s sure his message will make James come a running. About half way to the bar, Alison is in front of him.

“I’m ready again, are you?”

Phil looks down, and sees Alison’s polished toes, and no shoes.

With a shaky voice Phil replies, “Yes”

-----

The run was short, as was the time it took to realize how cold it really was.  In the car and on the run the cold was in the background, adding to the ambience of this pleasant adventure.  Now while they lay side by side on the cold sidewalk surrounding the sand boxes, the wind and air made both their bodies shiver.

“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind as playing”, Jewels turns her head to face James.

“Most of these things are meant to be climbed, and it’s too dark for that”, James does the same.

James was searching for a smooth transition towards a more productive topic.  Jewels seemed to be distracted as well, which further distracted James.  This left them quite and shivering. 

“Would you like my upper shirt, your shivering”, this time he stayed looking up.

“I’m ok thanks”

Were this a date he’d have given it already, but in this situation things are complicated.  It has become so odd trying to be a gentleman lately.  Pulling chairs, offering coats, or anything small, tends to give a negative responds.  As if we, being male, believe them, being female, in capable of handling there own well being, when instead we are merely concerned.

Yes, you could have brought a coat.  No, the shivering probably won’t kill you, but it won’t kill me either.  So, why can’t I offer you what I’ve got, then maybe one of us won’t be shivering.  This is the case for James and Jewels, as they lay.

Jewels loses her far off star, “We could have gotten on the swings, but know I kind of like the floor.  Even with all the light pollution, looking at the sky clears my mind.”

“I’m trying to make shapes out of the stars.  So far all I can come up with are a bunch of triangles.”

“Really, I can see anything I want in them.”

“Then find me a dragon”

Jewels humbles a bit closer and point up, “Do you see the bright star, not the really bright one, just the normal bright one?”

Feeling Jewels warmth, “I assume by normal, you mean near the average, in terms of brightness and in relation to all the other stars.  If so then… no.”

James has known her long enough to pick up a fake laugh from the real thing.  This one made him proud of himself

“Ok can you see the stars that kind of look like a stick figure doing a back bend.  His left knee is the right horn.”

“Are you serious, you can see the things knee?  I’m a creative guy but jeez.  I guess my element isn’t in connecting the dotes it’s more towards problem solv… Phil!”

“Is that even a word?”

“We have to go back to the party, Phil’s still over there and I promised we’d finish something tonight.”

“I guess I’ll show you our constellation later then.”

The two got up slowly, feeling their muscles unhappy about the move.  They made there way to the car even slower.  Leaving now felt much too early.  Just before they got into the car, both did the best they could at removing any sand or dirt.

Jewels climbed in and rubbed her hands together, “I guess it was a little colder then I thought.”

James started the car then covered her hand with his and began pulling out of the lot.

Jewels squeezed a bit, “was that so hard…”

-----------